I have the sudden urge to blog.

Usually I am not the religious-type of blogger, I blog for reasons. And specifically down to 2 reasons: either I am happy with my life or I am utterly stressed. Guess which is. yes,you're probably right. I'm stressed.

I ought to be doing my tutorials and studying for the upcoming exams now, instead of blogging. Yet the dizzy spells and restlessness are preventing me to do so. Oh, maybe add in the messiness. I can't think. I can't write. I don't know the directions of my essays. And the readings are piling up they look so intimidating. Yet I don't wanna give up my love for Humanities'. I really really ought to be reading my articles. Instead of a book. The book that I gave up Obama's - for Gladwell's - Outliers. It's a fantastic book so far, I want to finish it by the end of the week. - to be inspired enough to gear up for the exams.

Anyway, studies aside. Socializing is something so unattainable. My skin is peeling. and my weight doesn't go down anymore. My face still puffs up. ravished. beauty. - I owe it to Mead and Goffman - helped me to understand the way I feel and assured me that it is okay to feel so. It is normal. Everybody would have felt the same. I know - yet I don't dare to show.

Not getting the perfection i want - i drift away from love. i talked to someone i have known for a long time - more than a decade long. we talked. we reminisced. we relived. we laughed. we realised. we grown up. we changed. but those memories don't change. i'm glad.

i'm starting to like the writing classes.
From the son:
"no mon.no fun.your son."
From the dad:
"too bad.so sad.your dad"

it shows how powerful words are. and so does language is. and humans are born to be linguistic animals - the process of construction. which again drives me to take Spanish the next sem - Spanish drives me crazy. ;D